The first and last mentions of Severus Snape.
I like how his last mention answers the first.
I open at the close
Fuck u all
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:
tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:
“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
“who?”
“…..them.”
Oh.
I AM CRYING
I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun
this needs to be a supernatural episode
There are so many douchebags in the world.
“Guys Like Potter” composed by Darren Criss, sung by Jason Isaac and Joe Moses.
LUCIUS:
There are so many douchebags in the world.
Yes, so many douchebags get the girls
who deserve more than absolutely anything
than any charm or potion could ever bring.
But men like that, they have her on a string,
and they don’t care,
For there will always be guys like Potter.
To realize tears in your eyes because he got her.
She’ll never ever know how much you’d have brought her…
If you’d only done
something more for the one,
back when you were young…(dialogue)
SNAPE:
So many assholes in this place.
So many assholes in my face!
Why can’t they leave me alone—
To love princesses, maids, and queens?
They wouldn’t ever be in between…
LUCIUS & SNAPE:
We’d them nice and never be mean.
And we would care…
But there will always be guys like Potter.
Who’ll quench the flame like it’s a game with drops of water
He’ll never think her perfect as you/I thought her…
LUCIUS:
… But now you’re alone,
left to pout and moan,
‘cause you were totally pwnd.Everyone above belongs to StarKid and their respective actors, actresses and puppet-handlers. Check it out at:

